If Not Here, Then There: Dupes for Dummies
by Robert McGarvey
There’s a mushrooming industry of travel agents, writers and publications that have focused on offering us alternatives to overtouristed places and the ante goes up as more locales – from Greece to Spain – have loud anti tourist demonstrations and, honestly, who wants to spend their money in places that neither like nor want us? Yes, there is an understandable backdrop to why we crave alternatives.
But I am here to tell you that in most cases there is no dupe. Alternatives, yes, but the search for a dupe that delivers all – at least most – of what the planet’s coveted destinations do is a fool’s errand. Such places do not exist.
Here’s a glaring case in point of a tangled dupe from the Travel Channel: Quebec City Instead of Paris. “You won’t encounter the same crowds in Quebec City as in Paris. What you will find, especially if you stay in the UNESCO-designated Old City, are cobblestone streets worthy of a French village and plenty of chances to practice your French.”
Well…I have been to both and readily concede Quebec City’s Old City has genuine charm…but where’s the Louvre? And you want to eat in a place where Hemingway ate sausages and sauerkraut and drank beer or maybe where Camus and Sartre argued over morning eggs and coffee? Walk where the tumbrels rolled?And as for the language, the French in Quebec City is more an 18th century argot – it’s no place to practice the French you want to use in Paris or Marseilles.
Perhaps you think African safaris are too crowded – book a safari at Yellowstone National Park instead! So advises that same Travel Channel piece which tells us “The weeklong Winter Wolves of Yellowstone is a sought-after option to spot retiring gray wolves in their native habitat. Along the way you might also see bighorn sheep, pronghorn antelope and golden eagles while traveling via safari-like vehicles.” Honestly, that Yellowstone trip sounds interesting but what it isn’t is a stand in for an African safari which many Baby Boomers have dreamt about for a half century or longer. Their dream is of seeing the Big Five in the wild, not a wolf pack and maybe some eagles.
Over at MoneyLion, we’re told to vacation in “The Baltics instead of Scandinavia” but that’s a bit like saying skip Manhattan and head to Bayonne. The four Scandinavian countries all rank in the top seven happiest countries and the Baltics – which indeed have architectural and cultural charms – are nowhere on the list for good reasons. The Russian bear is sniffing at their borders and none of them is exactly a thriving economy. There are reasons perhaps to not want to go to the Scandi four – Copenhagen is verging on ranking as overtouristed and throughout the region prices are breathtaking – but if you want to see happy, well ordered, functioning societies, the Scandi four cannot be matched by the Baltics or probably by anywhere else.
At Hotels Above Par they want you to know there’s a dupe for New York City and at least some stats say Gotham may in fact have too many tourists. Personally I think only some specific areas are way too crowded, think Times Square and Soho and perhaps parts of Brooklyn. But one place that most certainly isn’t a dupe is Chicago. The site seems appropriately half-hearted about this: “Some consider Chicago to be ‘a manageable New York City.’ The energy might not be equivalent, but several other factors spawn comparison.” Look, I like Chicago, but a New York substitute it isn’t and that starts with pizza where New York style is vastly superior, but even though I grew up 20 miles from Times Square I will readily agree a Chicago style dog is tastier than a New York dirty water dog. The first time I saw the Chicago dog I gave it the fish eye of incredulity but two bites in I was a convert. Even so, a weekend in Chicago may be fun on its own terms but a Big Apple holiday it isn’t.
Yahoo Finance enters this fray with what may be the ne plus ultra of nonsensical travel dupes: Instead of Bali, Indonesia, Visit Lombok, Indonesia. Two words tell why this isn’t so: Wallace Line. On one side is Indomalaya, on the other Australasia and they have little in common in flora or fauna. And that line falls between Bali and Lombok. Also 87% of the Bali population is Hindu, in Lombok Hindus are maybe 15% (Muslims are 80%). Culturally the two islands couldn’t be more different. Lombok has its own appeal – it’s more laidback and definitely cheaper. But a Bali it never will be.
There in fact is no dupe for Bali, just as there isn’t one for Paris or Santorini or Venice or an African safari or any of the rara avis places on earth. We may choose not to go to overtouristed, anti tourist places – and that’s a good choice imo – but don’t let’s delude ourselves into believing there are dupes.
There ain’t none.