Bah Humbug Who Wants Those Gifts for Frequent Fliers?

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By Robert McGarvey

This is the season when publications spray us with stories that purport to tell their readers what frequent fliers want to smooth their lives on the road.  Word of advice: these stories generally are so very wrong.

In 40+ years of travel, mainly on business, I have consistently aspired towards one end: traveling with less.  Nowadays much less.  

Tell me what bag check is again? It’s been a while since I used it.

So I board with a bag small enough to fit in the overhead bin and that bag is a constant whether I am on the road for a night or a week.  If it’s the latter, you know how stuffed the bag is. I don’t have room for travel gear, no matter how novel.

And I haven’t been able to bring my personal alltime favorite travel gadget on board for years: an old Leatherman tool with all the tools, pliers, a knife, a file, etc.  That was ruled a potential weapon many years ago and these days it sits in a drawer somewhere in my office. Yes, I know some multi tools (including some Leatherman) are TSA approved and now as I am writing this, I really have to buy one.  It will fit fine in my pocket.

What about my briefcase – is there room in it for gadgets? It’s stuffed too, with a laptop, an iPad, a couple phones, miscellaneous chargers, an umbrella, maybe a newspaper or two to read inflight. Forget about jamming in new gizmos.

So I frown when I read that I might want flannel PJs.  I don’t and even if I did, there’s no room.

Then there’s a $65 wireless speaker from Yatra.  Bluetooth powered you can also connect it to your phone to create an instant speakerphone.  7” long, less than a pound.  Eye catching, I’ll admit. But, no, there’s no room in my bag for such a device.

I don’t know  what to say about a suggestion that frequent fliers crave coloring books and no roll pencils, Here’s another vote for coloring books.  Personally I have hundreds of backlogged books – unread – on my Kindle app. Netflix now is permitting downloading of some movies for watching where WiFi is bad or non existent (as on a plane).  There is no lack of entertainment for me inflight.  I haven’t used a coloring book since I was about six and am happy to leave it that way.

I suppose the suggestion of a carryon kayak – $599 – is a bit of a joke (caused me to smile at least) but, listen up, if you are shopping for me, I don’t want the damn thing and can’t think of anybody who would.

More absurd, and less funny, is the tip that long-haul travelers would crave a $450 dash cam – because, really, the first thing I always do when I fly to Bali or Bangkok or Budapest is run to the rental car counter and hop in a car.. No. I don’t. I have never driven in those countries, doubt I ever will.  Travel enough and one thing you learn – ideally as a passenger – is that you don’t want to mess with the motoring gods in distant lands where prevailing rules of the road won’t compute in your jet-lagged noggin.

The list could go on but you get the point: these round-ups are crammed with what we don’t want.

Understand: in years past I have written such articles. Maybe I even wrote articles about gifts for business travelers in particular.  I am not blaming the writers.  It’s really just a system that requires such fluff.

My advice now is ignore such stories – and hope that those who give you gifts also ignore them.  The latter is the stickier bit.

Where I have gotten my best tips about gear to carry has always been other travelers.  Years ago, somebody told me about Leatherman.  Someone else told me he always carries a slim flashlight and I still carry that.

I also bring a sleep mask and earplugs on longhaul flights.  

But I can’t say I have ever craved gear in any of the year-end roundup gift stories. 

Isn’t there anything new and techy that I like? There is but it’s not for sale.  Sign up with Google’s Project Fi and you will get a gift box that contains a solar charger that really is just the thing when you are somewhere on the planet that requires a plug adapter you don’t have.  Put the gizmo in the sun for a few hours and you have the juice to power your phone or tablet.

Google isn’t selling those gizmos but Amazon sells a range of similar models, in the $20 range.  

Buy one especially if you travel overseas.

As for the rest, less is more for anybody who travels more than occasionally.  And that means nix the stuff no matter how cute, no matter how cool it might to have it every so often.  

Less definitely is more on the road.  

How I Will Travel in 2017: Six Rules To Fly By

How I Will Travel in 2017: Six Rules To Fly By

By Robert McGarvey

 

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The past year made it plain: the old rules for succeeding as a frequent flier are repealed.  The legacy carriers have done to their loyalty programs what President elect Trump has said he wants to do to Obamacare.

I don’t agree with Trump on the ACA or the legacy carriers on loyalty but, you know what, I don’t think they are listening to me.

At least with the carriers I know exactly how I need to behave in 2017 to make my best of a changed travel landscape. Here are the six rules I plan to fly by in 2017.

Rule 1: Show no loyalty to any carrier.  Buy on price and convenience only.  The carriers have no loyalty to us (well, they do but only to our money), so show none in return.  Do research on a Google type search engine to get a broad array of flight possibilities and prices.

Rule 2: Barring extraordinary price differences, I will continue to book with the carriers with whom I have credit cards that bring perks like priority boarding and free bag check.  In my case that is United and American but you may choose otherwise.  The programs are largely similar, what matters is where you fly from and to and in my case United and American work. But I am no longer in search of elite status which I have not had for several years.  It means so little now, it’s just not worth the bother unless you can qualify for the highest bracket.  Those with, say, United Global Services status – that’s 1K plus – swear their treatment is utterly unlike mine. They are probably right but I don’t have clients that will fork over the dough to pay the premium fares needed to win entry.  So I am determined to just ignore the “secret” elite programs offered by carriers to their very best customers and as for the well known elite programs they offer so little they are easily scorned.

Rule 3: If I don’t see the inside of an airline club in 2017, I will pat myself on the back.  Those clubs are stuffed too full with flyers and the carriers are racing to upgrade the offerings but to me this is too little, too late. Understand, I am a huge fan of American Express’s Centurion Lounges.  That’s why I have a Platinum Card which, as a bonus, gets me entry to the Priority Pass network of airport lounges (and, yes, I know many are in fact airline clubs doing double duty but the ones I have been in are operated by international carriers and have also been quiet, relaxing).  If legacy carrier clubs truly improve, tell me and I’ll check them out. But I am not optimistic.

Rule 4: I won’t succumb to the new “Basic Economy” fares.  I am a cheapskate when it comes to air but I have my limits and these stripped down programs – basically stuffing bagless pax into middle seats – is not for me.  You are on a very tight budget? Check them out. Just don’t expect me to write about them.

Rule 5: I will continue to maintain a cache of miles (in my case in an Amex account) to use for last minute travel – generally for family emergencies such as ill relatives.  With “Bereavement Fares” no more, the smartest way to pay is with miles.  Do likewise. Set aside a bank of 50k miles, more if you have them, and save them for the emergencies that will arise.  

Rule 6: In 2017 I will buy business class seats and that means I won’t count on free upgrades. Longtime air travel expert Joe Brancatelli has persuasively documented that business class seats nowadays are priced at rates that genuinely look affordable.  In many cases the going rate is maybe half of what the stated rates were a year or two ago, when airlines sold few such seats and mainly doled them out as free upgrades to elites. Today the airlines want to monetize the front of the plane – meaning sell the seats – and that has led to sharp price cuts as well as many fewer seats for free upgrades. If you want to sit upfront in 2017, even if you are an elite, be prepared to pay for it – and expect to get multiple tempting offers from your carrier prior to boarding.  Don’t tune the pitches out. You just may hear great deals.